Tips for Managing Preschool Separation Anxiety
by Charles Bultman, MFTI

For many new preschoolers the first few days or weeks of school can be a very difficult time. They may cry when you leave or cling to you and attempt to keep you from going. They may become very shy and refuse to speak or interact with their teachers or peers. For most children this is a temporary and natural stage and will pass with time. To make that transition easier for your child—and for you—here are some tips.

     1. Have a consistent morning routine with a goodbye ritual.

     2. Have a calm, positive attitude.

     3. Do not hesitate when it is time to leave.

     4. Let your child know when you will be back and take time to reconnect when you return.

     5. Have a picture of your family your child keeps at school. You may also want to make a “brag book,” that is, a small photo album with pictures of your family that the child can show his peers and teachers.

     6. Let your child bring a comforting toy (e.g., a teddy bear, a favorite toy car) to school (if the teacher permits this) .

     7. Practice separations at home for brief periods and at short distances (always making sure your child is safe, of course). Increase the amount of time you are separate from your child as he or she becomes more comfortable with your absence. Praise your child when he or she tolerates these separations well.

     8. Listen to and sympathize with your child’s concerns.

     9. Make sure your child is well-fed and has sufficient rest before going to school.

     10. Read any of the following books to your child:

• • Owl Babies by Martin Waddell
• • The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
• • The Good-bye Book by Judith Viorst
• • Into the Great Forest: A story for children away from their parents for the first time by Irene Marcus
• • Even if I Spill My Milk? By Anita Grossnickle Hines
• • Benjamin Comes Back by Amy Brandt

Remember that for most children separation anxiety is a temporary and natural reaction to the changes in their lives. If the problem persists for several weeks, check with your child’s teacher to find out what other options you may have. Best wishes to you and your child in the new school year! .