Back to School Stress
by Charles Bultman, MFTI

With the start of the new school year comes the excitement of new people and places, our renewed hopes for our children and families, and … stress. In fact, according to some research, the beginning of a new school year is one of life’s biggest stressors. There are new routines to master, new expectations from teachers and school administrators, and new demands on our budget and time. Despite our best efforts to make everything go smoothly, we may find ourselves overwhelmed by bouts of anger, sadness, and frustration—all before breakfast. Your kids may be especially touchy, may fight with each other, or may display more immature behavior. If life were easy the rest of the year, we’d get through the transition period just fine. For most of us, we wonder how we are going to make it all work. Here are a few tips for not only getting through this period but also improving how your family deals with life’s stressful ups and downs.

·         Get to know your children’s teachers. Talk to them about your concerns for your child in the coming year. Brag about your child’s special talents. And ask the teacher about his or her observations and what you can do to help your child succeed.

·         Make dinner reservations. No, not at that fancy restaurant but at your own kitchen table. Set aside dinner time as a time every day that your family gathers together. Tell your children about what you’re feeling during this period, and ask them about their experiences: their new classes, teachers, and friends; their new struggles and triumphs.

·          Cut the fat out. Brainstorm with all the members of your family about what you can do to make life easier. For example, are your children old enough now to handle some of the tasks you used to do for them (like making lunches)? Can you cut them some slack on some area that causes your family conflict?

·          Develop healthy routines. Set specific times for waking up, leaving for school, eating dinner, doing homework, going to bed, and other important parts of your day. Make a chart where these times are clearly shown and place the chart where everyone can see it (like on the refrigerator). It’s tempting to think that following a routine would only add to your stress, but not having a clear idea of what’s expected and when it has to happen tend to create unnecessary conflict.

·          Take care of yourself. Eat healthily, get enough sleep, and exercise. If you use tobacco, alcohol, or drugs, try to reduce or eliminate these elements from your life. (Contact a licensed therapist or a reputable program like Alcoholics Anonymous if you feel this would help.) You’ll feel better, and you’ll help your kids learn how to take care of themselves.

·          Get connected. In the swirl of activities the typical families have in the course of a week, it is tempting to “veg out” in front of the TV during the few moments we are not doing some necessary chore. This may seem all we can manage some nights, but if it becomes the norm, it may compound your stress by increasing your sense of isolation. Make time for friends, attend religious services, volunteer with an organization that does work you admire. Get your kids involved in these activities well.

·          And remember ... Once you get into the swing of the new school year you will probably feel less stress—although that may be hard to believe right now.

These are a lot of recommendations. Hopefully, just looking at this list doesn’t cause you more stress! And of course, these guidelines won’t eliminate stress from your life, but they can help you reduce it and be better able to handle it when it comes your way.